Category Archives: Funny stuff


Build a Strong Foundation for Success

When you participate in leadership development training, you’re building on your previous experience and success. Your improved skills will enable you to get more done in less time and with less wasted effort, and as a result, you will become increasingly valuable to your chosen organisation.  Improved skills means less stress related to your responsibilities, so you will find yourself enjoying your job even more.

As you grow as a Leader, you will have a positive influence in three areas:

  1. In the organisation overall,
  2. With your own team members, and
  3. The work climate as a whole.


  • Your influence in the organisation: Organisations are much like human beings. Each copes with challenges in its own characteristic way and, operates in a manner designed to preserve its existence and succeed. An organisation is simply two or more people working toward a common goal. Regardless of the size of your organisation, being a leader calls for willingness to identify with your organisation’s purpose, to support it with your attitudes and your actions, and to facilitate the changes needed for the organisation’s ongoing success. Regardless of the type of your organisation – whether it’s a provider of services, a distributor of goods, or a manufacturer – you’re expected first of all to get results through your people in order to operate at a profit. Given defined human and financial resources, you must reach certain productivity goals. The nature of “profit” takes different forms according to the nature of the organisation, but the principle is the same.  “You are effective as a leader only when you manage the available resources to make the product or service worth more to the organisation than the cost of producing it.”  Although your personality characteristics and skills are important, your value to the organisation is generally measured by how effectively you’re fulfilling its mission and achieving cost-effective results.
  • Your influence on team members: In addition to understanding your responsibility to the organisation, you must also understand the needs and wants of the members of your work group. If you concentrate exclusively on your own needs and goals and neglect those of your team members, a deep rift in team relationships could develop. If you’re achievement oriented, you may be tempted to boost your own self-esteem by downplaying the contributions made by other team members. But when other team members feel that their efforts have been ignored or that their value has gone unrecognised, they view themselves as relatively unimportant to the organisation. Consequently, they feel less responsibility for being personally productive. Avoid this destructive pattern at all costs! Both you and your team members will enjoy the positive results of shared responsibility, achievement and recognition.
  • Your influence on the work climate: When you adopt a no-limitations belief in the potential and worth of every individual, you begin coaching each team member with an enthusiasm that says, “You can do it!” Your confidence in them gives them maximum opportunity to grow, to meet their own needs, and to contribute to the success of your department or work group. When you believe in the ability of people to perform productively, your expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy. People tend to live up to what’s expected of them by others, especially by those they consider authority figures. When you demonstrate that you believe your team members can succeed, they’re willing to take more growth risks. A no-limitations belief in people also makes it easier for you to delegate various responsibilities and to trust your team members to get the help, resources and training they may need to successfully complete the tasks you assign. When you demonstrate your confidence in their ability to perform successfully, they will accept the challenge and work harder to meet your expectations.

Becoming an Industry Leader

Whether you are looking to expand your brand or you are moving into a new industry, getting the word out about your business is essential to developing your network and building your reputation.

Establishing a strong presence in your sector takes time and effort. If you want to become a leader in your industry, it becomes even more important to be relentless and multi-directional in the way you promote yourself and your business.

Regular e-marketing campaigns and client contact is important, but often it will take a series of more pointed and innovative actions to launch your brand with real gusto. There are a few actions that you can take that will cement your brand as the go-to for your existing client base and prospects in equal measure.

Host a complimentary workshop

If you’re just starting out then hosting a free event is often the best way to get the word out there about what you have to offer. When you take that step to hosting an industry event, it demonstrates that you are in a position of authority and have the know-how and confidence to share what you know with those around you. Ensure that every workshop you hold is also an opportunity to network, both for yourself and for your attendees. Provide opportunities for group activities and Q&A’s to encourage interaction and inter-group communication.

Offer your services to the local community

Volunteering at your local community organisation is an ideal way to give back to those immediately around you, learn new skills and increase the good will base for your brand. By getting involved with the community directly you will have the opportunity to establish yourself and your brand as one that is concerned with the welfare of others and is socially aware of what is going on in the local area.

While it may not be paid work in the short term, the long term effects of volunteering will be tenfold.

Address industry changes head-on

Those at the forefront of a business are always the ones to stand up and comment on any major changes happening to innovation, profitability or growth in an industry. To set yourself apart as an industry leader, make sure you are always on top of what is going on in your industry. Read the news every day and set up a Google alert to be sent directly to your inbox of any goings on with your competitors. Major changes in your industry could happen fast or over a long period of time, so be prepared to step up and have an opinion about pertinent developments to project an image of confidence and professionalism.

Be aware of industry awards, and apply for them

Some industries have very visible and coveted awards that can be utilised as major promotional and branding material if won. However, you have to be in it to win it! Do your research and determine what you are eligible for then apply, apply, apply. You may not be eligible in the first couple of years in a new business, but keeping abreast of these industry high points is essential to finding out how to improve your business operations to make you a winner and a recognised industry leader.

Stay social, both online and in person

Firstly, if you haven’t done so already, make a checklist of all the companies and businesses in your sector and follow them on Linkedin. Secondly, regularly update your social media feed with interesting and relevant reading material. Finally, determine some relevant groups and online communities for you to join online. Found a gap in the online community market which a group could fill? Take the initiative and start one. Taking even this minor step online will bring you one step closer to being the industry leader you are striving to be.

Are you a member of LMA’s Linkedin Groups for course graduates? Join now to access our professional network of graduates from across Australian and New Zealand.

Does the chair exist | LMA

Does the chair exist?

A lecture hall was packed with philosophy students on their first day of class.

Their grey-haired professor raised his hands above his head and the class began to fall quiet. In one swift movement, the professor grabbed his chair and slammed it onto his desk.

The professor turned around and etched a challenge on the whiteboard – this was to be their first graded assignment.
It read – “Prove to me this chair doesn’t exist”.

Given one hour to complete their essay, all of the students began with haste. Within 30 seconds, one student stood up and handed in his assignment in front of his bemused class.

Can you guess what the student wrote?
“What chair?”
This student received an A for his assignment.

When was the last time you or your team were encouraged to think outside the box?

The lost balloonist

The lost balloonist

A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He sees a man on the ground and reduces height to speak to him.

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

“You’re in a hot air balloon hovering thirty feet above this field,” comes the reply.

“Everything you told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone,” says the balloonist.

“You must be in business,” says the man.

“I am,” says the balloonist, “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

Rocks in the bucket

Rocks in a bucket (the funny version)

A lecturer at a university is giving a pre-exam lecture on time management. On his desk is a bag of sand, a bag of pebbles, some big rocks and bucket.

“The is an analogy of poor time management,” says the lecturer, “If you’d have put the rocks in first, then the pebbles, then the sand, all three would have fit. This is much like time management, in that by completing your biggest tasks first, you leave room to complete your medium tasks, then your smaller ones. By completing your smallest tasks first you spend so much time on them you leave yourself unable to complete either medium of large tasks satisfactorily. Let me show you…”

And the lecturer fills the bucket, big rocks first, then pebbles, then sand, shaking the bucket between each so that everything fits.

“But Sir,” says one student, slouched at the back of the theater, “You’ve forgotten one thing….”

At which the student approaches the bucket, produces a can of beer, opens it and pours into the bucket. “No matter how busy you are,” quips the student with a smile, “There’s always time for a quick beer.”

Creative thinking

Creative thinking saves the day

A lady takes her pet Chihuahua with her on a safari holiday. Wandering too far one day, the Chihuahua gets lost in the bush and soon encounters a very hungry looking leopard.

The Chihuahua realises he’s in trouble, but, noticing some fresh bones on the ground, he settles down to chew on them, with his back to the big cat. As the leopard is about to leap, the Chihuahua smacks his lips and exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.”

The leopard stops mid-stride, and slinks away into the trees.

“Phew,” says the leopard, “that was close – that evil little dog nearly had me.”

A monkey nearby sees everything and thinks he’ll win a favour by putting the stupid leopard straight. The Chihuahua sees the monkey go after the leopard and guesses he might be up to no good.

When the leopard hears the monkey’s story, he feels angry at being made a fool and offers the monkey a ride back to see him exact his revenge.

The little dog sees them approaching and fears the worse.

Thinking quickly, the little dog turns his back, pretends not to notice them, and when the pair are within earshot says aloud, “Now where’s that monkey got to? I sent him ages ago to bring me another leopard…”

Frog and the geese

The frog and the geese

A frog asked two geese to take him south with them. At first they resisted; they didn’t see how it could be done.

Finally, the frog suggested that the two geese hold a stick in their beaks and that he would hold on to it with his mouth.

So off the unlikely threesome went, flying south over the countryside. It was quite a sight. People looked up and expressed great admiration at this demonstration of creative teamwork.

Someone said, “It’s wonderful! Who was so clever to discover such a fine way to travel?” Whereupon the frog opened his mouth and said, “It was I,” as he plummeted to the earth.

Moral: There is no “I” in team.

Bright side of life

Always look on the bright side of life

A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining hairs on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she braided her three hairs, and she had a great day.

Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day, she saw that she had only two hairs remaining. “Hmm, two hairs… I fancy a centre parting today.” She duly parted her two hairs, and as ever, she had a great day.

A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her head. “One hair huh…,” she mused, “I know, a pony-tail will be perfect.” And again she had a great day.

The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald.

“Finally bald huh,” she said to herself, “How wonderful! I won’t have to waste time doing my hair anymore!”


A boy walks into a store…

A boy walks into a store and dials a number on his mobile phone.

Boy: “Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?”

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”

Boy: “Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now.”

Woman: “I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting the lawn.”

Boy: (with more perseverance) “Lady, I’ll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.”

Woman: “No, thank you. I have someone that does a good job”

With a smile on his face, the boy put down the phone. The store owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store owner: “Son….I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”

Boy: “No thanks.”

Store owner: “But you were really pleading for one.”

Boy: “No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady!”

This is called Self Appraisal!


A matter of perspective

A synergistic, empowered and productive team consists of individuals who envision their input as meaningful and significant.

The story is told of a traveller who visited a stone quarry and asked three workers what they were doing.

“Can’t you see?” said the first one irritably, “I’m cutting stone.”

The second replied, “I’m earning a living.”

But the third put down his pick and thrust out his chest proudly, “I’m building a cathedral,” he said.

How people view their work makes a significant impact on long-term productivity; all workers perform and respond to change best when they are accomplishing goals that matter to them.

Are you “cutting stone” or “building a cathedral”? A worthwhile question to ask of yourself and your team.